


Say You'll Remember Me

by canadiancop



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Amnesia, F/F, Slow Burn, anyway kara is in love with lena so hard, there's some minor sanvers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-06
Packaged: 2018-10-15 21:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10557782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadiancop/pseuds/canadiancop
Summary: Kara doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything as beautiful as Lena Luthor smiling back at her from the passenger seat. That’s not to say she hasn’t seen anything beautiful, because she has. She remembers sunsets on Krypton, and days at art galleries with Cat, and Alex and Maggie’s wedding. She remembers every beautiful thing she’s ever known, and Lena surpasses them all.orthe one where Lena and Kara are married and Lena loses her memory. based off the movie the vow





	1. Chapter 1

Kara doesn’t think she’s ever seen anything as beautiful as Lena Luthor smiling back at her from the passenger seat. That’s not to say she hasn’t seen anything beautiful, because she has. She remembers sunsets on Krypton, and days at art galleries with Cat, and Alex and Maggie’s wedding. She remembers every beautiful thing she’s ever known, and Lena surpasses them all.

“Eyes on the road, Kara,” says Lena.

Kara laughs. “How can I look at the road when you’re sitting there, perfect as ever?”

Lena smiles harder. “You think you’re going to get lucky tonight, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers, don’t you?”

“Oh, of course I do, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers.”

Lena leans over for a kiss, and because they’ve just pulled up at a stop light, Kara lets her. It’s chaste, sweet, reminiscent of thousands before it, but perfect.

Lena sits back in her seat and opens her eyes. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

If Kara had known what would happen next, there were a million things she would have done differently. She would have suggested another restaurant for lunch, or taken the back roads to get there, or even flown Lena out of there, secret identity be damned. Kara did not know what would happen next, though.

~

“It came out of nowhere, Alex, I swear.”

“Kara, hold on,” Alex says. “What happened?”

“A truck came out of nowhere and hit us. I don’t know how it happened. We were stopped at a stoplight and we were okay and then one second passed and we weren’t and Lena was unconscious and Alex –”

“I’m on my way. Where are you?”

“National City Hospital. Please. Hurry.”

Kara hears her phone beep to signal that Alex has hung up. Usually, she’s really good at blocking out noise, but now it’s like she’s 13 again, learning how to adjust to her powers on earth. She hears everything – crying babies, feet shuffling, patients asking, “Are you sure there’s nothing you can do?” and the one sound she couldn’t imagine feeling uncertain about: Lena’s heartbeat.

She used to track Lena’s heartbeat. She remembers hearing it speed up when she walked in the room those first few weeks she’d known her. She remembers how she could’ve sworn it skipped a beat the first time they kissed. She remembers how steady it was the first night they spent together, how she listened to it all night long while she tried to sleep but couldn’t because this perfect human being was right next to her. She remembers every time it has ever beat, and it has never, never, been so weak before.

Alex and Maggie show up before anyone else does. Kara knows that Alex called Winn and James and J’onn, but none of them speed like Alex does when Kara needs her. Alex wraps Kara in a hug tighter than she’d known any human to be able to, and Maggie pats her back. It seems like she’s there forever, stuck in Alex’s arms, crying, while the love of her life could be dying.

“Hey,” says Alex. “It’s gonna be okay. Lena’s tough.”

“Yeah, Kara,” says Maggie. “Lena’s tougher than anyone I’ve ever known.”

Kara just sniffles and sits down. She tries to ignore the doctors talking in the O.R.s, knowing full well that one set is talking over Lena.

~

They sit for hours in the hospital waiting room. J’onn shows up maybe twenty minutes after Alex and Maggie do with his DEO uniform on, and James and Winn show up close to five minutes after that. None of them know how to make Kara stop pacing, so Winn gathers five dollars each from everyone and nearly buys out the vending machines to give Kara choices on what to stress eat. Usually Kara would be all over the Cheetos, but not even fried snack food can make her feel better, now.

It’s 5:00 pm when Kara gets restless.

“It’s been almost five hours. Where are they? Why haven’t they come to update us?”

Alex doesn’t look up from her hands. “They probably don’t have any new information, Kara. It’s going to be fine. Lena will be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

J’onn clears his throat. “I have a lot of faith in this hospital, Kara. Lena will pull through with the help of these doctors. I know it.”

“Yeah,” says Winn. “Lena’s awesome. She can do this.” He looks over at James for support who just pats his back and puts his arm around him.

Kara hones in on Lena’s heartbeat again. It’s stronger, now, but still weak. Kara can hear it, slow and steady, and she knows her whole life is tied to that heartbeat.

At 6:00 pm, a doctor with cropped hair and tired eyes comes out to update them.

“Mrs. Luthor-Danvers, your wife is pulling through. She sustained some internal injuries in the crash and she hit her head, but she should be just fine. She should be waking up any moment now. Would you like to see her?”

Kara lets out a breath of relief. Lena is going to be okay. She nods and lets the doctor lead her to room 225 where Lena is.

“Hey, honey, it’s me,” says Kara, sitting down next to the bed. Lena’s face is covered in cuts from where she hit the windshield, but she doesn’t look like she’s in pain. Kara leans down to kiss the back of Lena’s hand. “You worried me so much.”

Kara still has Lena’s ring in her front pocket from when they gave her Lena’s personal items before they took her to surgery, so she takes this opportunity to slip it onto Lena’s finger. It looks right there, like there has never been any time when it didn’t exist on Lena’s ring finger. Kara remembers picking out that ring, being so nervous that she wouldn’t like it. It’s hard to imagine being nervous about anything except for this moment, now.

Lena’s finger twitches.

“Is she waking up?” asks Kara.

The doctor nods. “This is it.”

It takes a few seconds, but then Lena’s eyes are opening and Kara can see the ocean in them.

“Baby, I’m here. You’re okay.”

Lena just blinks. “Hello.”

Kara laughs. “Hi.” She takes a deep breath. “Are you feeling okay? Can I do anything?”

“Yeah, I’m… okay.” She looks around at the doctor, confused.

“We can go home soon, honey, but I’m sure they’ll want to keep you for observation. Right, doc?” She looks over at the doctor, too.

“Right.”

Kara hears Lena’s heartbeat speed up.

“It’s okay, babe,” Kara says as she pushes the hair out of her wife’s eyes. “You’re okay.”

“Sorry, but who are you?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok wow i got a lot of really nice comments on the first chapter so i finished up chapter two pretty quickly. i promise you not all of my updates will be so quick. anyway i hope you enjoy

Kara has had a lot of shock in her life, and a lot of things to cry about. This is probably tied with when her parents sent her away to a strange planet shortly before dying. If not tied, at least a close runner-up.

The doctor looks shocked. “Excuse me? What did you say?”

Lena swallows. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know either of you.” She looks over at Kara as if she’s scared of disappointing her, but Kara has nothing but disbelief on her face.

“Mrs. Luthor-Danvers –”

Lena’s eyes widen. “What?” She grabs the sheet over her as if to get up, but gets distracted by the ring on her hand. She stares for a long moment, wonder in her eyes. “Am I married?” She looks up at Kara and the doctor.

“Yes, ma’am,” says the doctor.”

She looks over at Kara. “Am I married to you?”

It isn’t until now that Kara realizes she’s crying. She knows this because when she opens her mouth to tell her wife that, yes, she is married to her, she tastes her tears. She brings her hand up to her cheek to feel water on them.

The doctor senses that Kara can’t say anything and answers for her. “Yes. You’re married to her.”

Lena shakes her head. “No, that can’t be right. This has to be some sort of mistake. I’m not married.”

Kara sets her head in her hands. She hears the doctor shuffling through papers before saying to Kara, “Mrs. Luthor-Danvers, I’m going to need you to come with me. Lena, we’ll be right back.”

They step out of the room and Kara feels like she might scream. “What is happening?” she whispers, instead.

“I don’t know. I’m going to go check with my associates. In the mean time, I have to ask you to step into the waiting room again.”

Kara nods and allows herself to be led to the waiting room where her friends stand immediately upon seeing her.

“So?” asks Winn. “She’s okay, right?”

Kara stares straight ahead as she sits down. “She doesn’t remember me.”

It takes a second to settle in before Winn says, “That’s impossible.”

Pause. J’onn says, “Agent Schott, that’s completely possible –”

“It was a figure of speech, J’onn,” says James before he sits beside Kara. “Are you okay?”

Kara shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

Alex takes the other seat next to Kara and grabs her hand. “What happened?”

“I went in there and she didn’t know who I was. She doesn’t remember anything. She didn’t know she was married.” Kara takes a shuddering breath. “She didn’t even recognize me.” She breaks her hand free from her sister’s to bury her head in it. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

By the time she looks up, everyone is sitting down in one of the hospital’s chairs. Alex is rubbing her back and she can’t even focus on how grateful she is to have everyone here because she’s so damn scared for Lena.

What if Lena doesn’t remember who she is? People always say they can’t imagine a world without their loved ones, but here’s the thing: Kara can. She’s been in a world without Lena Luthor, and she doesn’t want to go back. Lena is, without a doubt, the best thing Kara’s ever known.

A nurse comes out to call Kara back into the room a few minutes later. The walk seems longer, this time. She hones in on Lena’s heartbeat, steady as ever, and feels slightly better. _At least Lena’s okay,_ she thinks.

When she walks in, she sees the original doctor sitting on his stool and asking Lena questions.

“What year is it?”

Lena furrows her eyebrows. “2015?”

The doctor scribbles down something on his clipboard and goes on with his questions.

“Do you know who the president is?”

“Obama.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

The doctor frowns and writes some more down.

“What?” asks Lena. “Why are you frowning and writing things down? Am I wrong?”

The doctor just smiles at her and tells her he’ll be back in a minute after he talks to Kara. He grabs Kara’s arm and takes her just outside the room to talk.

“Mrs. Luthor-Danvers,” he says, “I’m afraid your wife has memory loss. She doesn’t remember the last five years. Aside from that, her mental capacities are in full working order, but anything that happened since 2015 was erased from her memory.”

Kara feels like she can’t breathe. She looks over at the door through the little window on top and sees her wife. Her wife who can’t remember that she’s married. “Do you know when her memory will return?”

The doctor exhales. “That’s the thing. We don’t know when or even if it will.” There’s a pause where Kara thinks she might throw up. “Right now, the most important thing to do is to keep her normal routine. In a few days, you can take her back home and get back to your lives. You’ll want to try and trigger her memories in any way possible, but there’s no guarantee they’ll come back. Do you understand?”

Kara nods. “I understand.”

The doctor goes back into the room, leaving Kara alone with her thoughts. She never thought she’d be in this situation. They’d talked about everything – but never this.

~

_They were lying in bed the first time they talked about what to do if something happened._

_“Kara, are you awake?” asked Lena._

_Kara turned over to face her fiancée. “Yeah. What’s wrong?”_

_“What if something happens to you?”_

_There was a pause. “What do you mean?”_

_“You know,” said Lena, “what if you get hurt? Your job is so dangerous. What if one day you get in trouble and something happens to you? What if you’re comatose or something? What will I do?”_

_Kara leaned over to kiss Lena’s forehead. “I’m going to be fine.” She pushes hair out of her face. “Why are you worrying about this?”_

_“I don’t know,” said Lena. “I’m just worried. What do I do if they ask me to pull the plug on you or something?”_

_Kara laughed. “Well, firstly, I don’t think they’re going to ask you to pull the plug on me because, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m pretty much invincible on this planet. Not to mention Alex would kill anyone for suggesting that.”_

_Lena chuckled, too. She definitely knew that Alex was a bit overprotective of her sister. The first time they met, Alex threatened her with a tray of ice cubes if Lena ever hurt Kara. “You’re right.” Lena stopped for a moment. “What if something happens to me?”_

_“Oh, honey, nothing is going to happen to you. I’ll never let anything happen to you.”_

_“I know,” said Lena, “but what if something does happen. I want you to try and save me, but if there’s no hope, you’ll take me off life support, okay? And I want you to move on. I don’t want you to be 75 years old and still moping over me.”_

_“You certainly think a lot of yourself, don’t you?” said Kara, laughing._

_“Kara, I’m serious.”_

_“I know.” She stopped smiling and looked deep into Lena’s eyes. “Nothing is going to happen to you, but I will do whatever you want me to if it does. All I know is that I will never get over you.”_

_“Kara –”_

_“No, listen. You are the great love of my life. I will love you for the rest of eternity, in every lifetime I will ever live, I will love you. I love you more than you could ever know, Lena.”_

_Lena smiled back at her fiancée. “I love you, too.”_

~

Kara walks in to room 225 to hear the doctor explaining to Lena what happened.

Lena doesn’t look as shocked as Kara thought she would be. “What year is it, then?”

“2020,” says the doctor.

“And you’re my wife?” she asks Kara.

Kara just nods.

Lena looks down at her left hand. “It’s a beautiful ring. I’m sorry I don’t remember you.” She pauses for a minute before saying, “What’s your name again?”

“I’m Kara.” She tries to ignore how her voice breaks as she says it, but she knows Lena caught it.

“I’m sorry,” says Lena. “I wish I could remember you.”

“It’s okay,” says Kara, almost desperate to reassure Lena. “It’s not your fault.”

There’s a moment of silence before Lena says, “Were we happy?”

“Yeah,” says Kara. “We were.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this fic is a mess but here's chapter 3 for you guys

Kara is grateful when J’onn tells her that he needs her at the DEO. It’s only been a day, but Kara feels like it’s been a lifetime without Lena. Without her Lena, she should say. Lena’s right there, sitting on a hospital bed, but she’s not the same. They don’t share the same smiles or inside jokes or looks that they used to. Instead, it’s just Kara trying to remember how she got Lena to fall in love with her the first time and wondering what she’s doing wrong.

“Supergirl,” says J’onn when Kara flies into the DEO, “you’re here.”

Winn and Alex are already there, and for a second Kara’s confused until she remembers that of course they’re there. Why would they take off work for Kara’s crisis? It’s hard to believe that the world is still spinning while Kara’s world doesn’t even know who she is.

“Hi, J’onn. What do we have today?”

J’onn gestures to Winn who pulls up a picture of an ugly-looking alien with warts all over his face on the screen. “This is our newest threat. He’s an alien from an unknown planet in the Andromeda galaxy. He goes by the name of Periclum.”

“Fun fact,” says Winn, “that’s how you say ‘danger’ in Latin.”

Alex elbows him.

“What? Is it my fault I didn’t take Spanish in high school?”

“Alright,” says Kara. “An alien with an education in dead languages. What else does he have?”

“As of right now?” says Alex, gripping her gun. “Everything we don’t want him to.”

J’onn clears his throat. “Along with the codes to the nuclear launch missiles, a hundred hostages from the U.S. military.”

“The military?” asks Kara. “Surely they have guns or something to hold him off.”

“That’s what I said,” Winn adds. “Periclum’s alien physiology doesn’t respond to bullets the way we do. The metal from the bullet actually adds to his strength. Something about the force in which it enters his body and the minerals in the metal, I guess.”

“Perfect,” says Kara. “So I punch him really hard and he spends the rest of his life in a DEO cell made specifically for him?”

“Not so fast,” says J’onn. “Any force that you’d exert on him would actually strengthen him.”

“Great.” Kara blows out a puff of air. “So what do you suggest I do?”

“The great thing about aliens from the Andromeda galaxy is that without minerals found in metal, his body will weaken and we he’ll be no stronger than a human without a work out ritual.”

“So Winn?” asks Alex.

“Hey!” Winn fires back. “I’ll have you know that I ran to catch an elevator the other day.”

“You’re right,” says Alex. “I apologize. But it’s Winn, though, right?”

J’onn shakes his head. “Anyway, Supergirl, what you’ll need to do is get him away from metal for long enough for his powers to deteriorate. If you can get him in water, that’ll speed up the process.”

“Can do,” says Kara.

~

Two hours and one fall in the Hudson River later, Kara walks in to the DEO, soaked, with a new prisoner. Two DEO agents that Kara vaguely recognizes take Periclum with them to the prison cells downstairs.

Winn spins around in his chair and raises his arms. “Excellent! Drinks on me?”

Alex smiles at him before the smile freezes on her face and she looks to Kara. “Winn, I don’t think that’s such a great –”

“Come on,” says Winn. “I’ll pay! Kara, invite Le-” He pauses. “Oh. Never mind.”

Kara clears her throat. “No, no that’s fine. I should get back to the hospital.”

“Kara,” says Alex,” do you want me and Maggie to come with you?”

“No,” she says. “I’m fine. I’ll stop by your apartment later.”

“We’ll have pot stickers.”

Kara smiles, and it feels like the first genuine look of happiness she’s had since the accident. “Thanks, Alex.”

~

It takes Kara thirty minutes to change and drive to the hospital. Lena insisted on them getting the car because, _Kara, just because you can fly doesn’t mean I can,_ and _You can’t keep flying places when you’re not Supergirl. What if you get caught?_ Eventually Kara gave in because how could she say no? Kara figures that’s how Lena makes such great deals with L Corp – because no one can bear to say no to that beautiful face.

She knocks on the door to room 225 to find Lena reading something on her phone.

Lena looks up when she hears the door open. “Just catching up on the past five years. Our political situation is really a mess, isn’t it?”

Kara laughs. “You have no idea.” She sits down on the doctor’s stool and folds her hands.

“What’s our story, Kara?”

Kara clears her throat. “Excuse me?”

“I mean, what happened between us? When did we meet, when did we start dating, you know? Who are we to each other?”

“Oh,” says Kara. “We met because I had to do a story on you.”

“A story on me? What do you mean?”

“Well, I’m a reporter.”

“Yes, I gathered that much, but why me? Am I famous?”

Kara laughs. “Quite. You’re the CEO of L-Corp.”

Lena furrows her eyebrows. “L-Corp? Like Luthor Corp?”

“Yes, like Luthor Corp.”

“So Lex gave it to me, then? That’s nice of him.” She pauses for a moment before saying, “I should call him. I tried to, earlier, but he must have changed his number because it said it wasn’t connected. You must have his number, though, right? I mean, as his sister-in-law, how else would you two talk? Are you on good terms?” Lena doesn’t notice that Kara has completely frozen at this point. “I’d imagine you would be. I probably wouldn’t have married you if Lex didn’t like you.”

“Lena –”

“Sorry, I’m rambling. Anyway, can I have his number? He’d probably like to hear from me seeing as I’m in the hospital.”

Kara is trying to find the words to say, ‘You can’t call your brother because he’s in prison serving thirty-seven consecutive life sentences,’ but what’s the easy way to break that to your wife with amnesia?

“Kara?” says Lena. “Is something wrong?”

“Lena… You should know something.”

Lena puts down the phone. “You’re scaring me. What is it?”

“Lex… is in prison.”

“What?” says Lena, incredulous. “What for?”

Kara gulps. “He did… unspeakable things to try and eradicate aliens.”

Lena shakes her head. “No.” She smiles half-heartedly as if to say, ‘Good one,’ but she doesn’t. “That’s impossible,” is what she says, instead.

“Lena, I’m sorry,” says Kara.

“No. You’re lying.”

“I’m not.”

“No. Lex would never do that. He’s best friends with Superman for crying out loud!”

Kara sighs. “That’s what made it so shocking when he did all of this.”

“No,” says Lena again, raising her voice. “That’s not true.”

“Lena –”

“That’s not true!” she yells. At this point Kara can see the tears forming in Lena’s eyes. “Why are you lying to me!?”

Lena stares with pain in her eyes for a few seconds before tears start leaking out onto her cheeks.

“Lena, I’m sorry…”

“I think I need to be alone for a minute. Can you leave me alone, please?”

Kara is taken aback. Lena – her Lena – wouldn’t want to be alone at a time like this. For probably the hundredth time in the past day, Kara wishes the accident hadn’t happened, because if it hadn’t, they wouldn’t be here. Lena wouldn’t be going through this pain again, and Kara wouldn’t be unable to help.

“Of course.” Kara notices that tears are dripping onto the hospital gown Lena is wearing. They’re silent tears, the ones Kara knows Lena is all too good at. “When should I come back?”

“Tomorrow,” says Lena. Her voice breaks, and Kara thinks her heart does, too.

“Tomorrow.”

Kara walks out of room 225 with her heart hung heavy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys enjoyed! i'm looking for someone to beta my work so if anyone's interested pls message me at hollencey.tumblr.com. i'd be happy to return the favor!


	4. Chapter 4

Alex sits on the couch with her head in her hands as her girlfriend rubs her back.

“I just can’t believe this happened, Maggie. What are the odds?”

Maggie shrugs.

“Of all the people this could have happened to, why Kara and Lena?” She lies back on the couch and puts her feet up on the coffee table. Maggie usually protests, but she figures she can let it go just this once.

Kara flies in through the window and immediately starts towards the food on the counter.

“Kara,” says Alex, standing up, “how’d it go?”

“Not well,” says Kara through two pot stickers that have already been stuffed in her mouth. “I just had to let her know where Lex is, and why he hadn’t visited her yet.”

“Oh, God,” says Maggie.

“How’d she take it?” asks Alex.

“Well, I’m here, aren’t I? Not great.” She grabs the container and brings it over to the couch which she plops herself on to. “She said she wanted to be alone.”

“Lena doesn’t like to be alone,” says Alex.

“She does when she doesn’t remember the only person who can be there.” Kara stuffs another pot sticker in her mouth.

Maggie sits next to Kara and pulls Alex to the other side of her little sister. “It’s gonna be okay, Kara.”

“Is it, Maggie?” She shakes her head. “I can’t live without her, guys.”

“She’s still here,” says Alex.

“She’s not, though! She doesn’t remember who I am, let alone our life together and how happy we were. God, we were so happy.” There’s a pause before Kara says, voice breaking, “What if she doesn’t fall in love with me again?”

“Oh, honey,” says Maggie, pushing hair out of Kara’s face. “Impossible. I know you didn’t see it, but that girl thought you put the stars in the sky. It wasn’t because of anything you did, but because of who you are. You’re still that person, and Lena will realize there are no stars without you in her life.”

Kara looks down at her pot stickers and pushes them around with her chopsticks. Alex, however, is looking at Maggie with nothing but awe. If she didn’t know she loved Maggie before, she does now.

~

Kara is back at the hospital the following day with a bouquet of flowers in her hands. Lena is sitting up in the hospital bed, eyes puffy, but still beautiful. She looks up as Kara enters the room and looks like she’s about to smile, but she doesn’t.

“I brought you Plumerias,” says Kara. “Your favorite.”

Lena smiles politely. “Sorry, you brought me what?”

“Plumerias,” Kara repeats. “Your favorite flower? Once upon a time you filled my office with flowers, and these were the kind. If I had known how expensive they were, I probably would’ve thanked you a little more, because, golly, are these expensive.”

“Oh. What anniversary was that for?”

Kara laughs. “It was actually before we started dating, but I knew I was in love with you, even then. I guess I was just waiting for the right time to tell you.” She pauses. “Anyway, I always see these in your office, so I assume they mean something to you. Or maybe they’re just pretty. Why do you like Plumerias so much, Lena?”

Lena shrugs. “I don’t know. I must have taken a liking to them sometime after 2015.”

“Oh,” says Kara. She sets them on the bedside table and sits down next to Lena’s bed. “My bad.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence before a doctor walks in and says, “Okay, Mrs. Luthor-Danvers, today’s the day!”

Lena looks around. “The day?”

“The day you get to go home!” The doctor looks over at her clipboard and sighs. “I know you haven’t regained your memory, yet, but we’re hopeful that it will come back in time, and there’s really no use in keeping you here, so home it is. We’ll have you come back in for another exam in six months, but other than that, you should be fine.”

Kara has a smile on her face for all of two seconds before she looks at Lena, who is definitely not smiling. “Hopeful? You’re hopeful that my memory will come back?”

The doctor shifts her weight. “Well, we don’t know if it will.”

Lena nods. “Of course.” Kara tries not to notice the disappointment in her voice.

~

Kara opens the door to their apartment that she hasn’t slept at since the accident and gestures for Lena to come in. “What’s mine is yours, Lena. Make yourself at home. It is, you know, your home.”

Lena spends a few moments taking it all in. On the walls are dozens of photos – some with just her and Kara, some with other people – two other women and three men – but in each photo, Lena notices herself smiling bigger than she’d ever seen.

“So we really were happy,” says Lena.

Kara nods. “Yeah, we really were.”

Another pause.

“You know,” says Kara, “you can ask me anything. I’m here for you.”

“When was this taken?” asks Lena, pointing to a photo of them with the people she’s seen so often in these pictures in a dark room with letters on their shirts spelling out “MARRY ME?”

“That was taken January 1st, 2019. The day I proposed. Technically, the day after I proposed. We were counting down to midnight and the new year, and when it got to one, I kneeled down and got everyone to open up their shirts to reveal the words, ‘marry me.’ We didn’t have enough friends for all the letters, so I had Winn have his girlfriend of the time and her brother help out.” Kara is smiling as she looks over at Lena who is looking at the photo intently.

“What about this one?” she asks, pointing to the one in the middle of them in white dresses throwing bouquets behind them.

“That’s the day we got married, October 19th 2019.” Kara smiles again. “The happiest day of my life.”

Lena points to another one of them all in a bar, holding up beer bottles and smiling.

“That’s James’ 30th birthday.”

“And this one?” Lena asks, looking at a picture of the group in front of an elephant at a zoo all in varying poses.

“That’s the first trip we took together. We went to the zoo and James thought it would be a good idea for us to all pretend to be different animals. Maggie and Alex – the two women in the front – decided to be flamingoes, see their legs up? And James – the bald guy in the white shirt – he wanted to be a lion, since it was his favorite animal as a kid. Winn was a monkey – the guy with the bad haircut – and J’onn – he’s the one who looks like he doesn’t want to be there – decided to be a hippo, because that required the least amount of looking stupid. Don’t let him fool you, he loves us.”

“What about us?” says Lena. The Kara and Lena in the picture are sticking their heads up as high as they can go, smiling like idiots.

“We were giraffes,” Kara says, laughing. She looks over at Lena who is running her finger over the two of them in the photo.

“It’s so weird, you know? Seeing all these photos of me doing things I can’t remember.”

“Yeah,” says Kara, “I know.”

Lena pulls her hand away from the photo. “So, those are our friends?”

“Yup,” says Kara. “They miss you, you know. Do you think you’d be up to seeing them anytime soon?”

“Maybe,” says Lena as she walks over to the couch. “I just don’t want them to be upset when I don’t remember them.”

“They won’t be, honey.” Kara freezes. “I mean, Lena. They know what you’re going through.”

Lena sits down next to the worst blanket she’s ever seen. It’s misshapen – nowhere near a perfect rectangle – with a color scheme so awful – bright orange, hot pink, and fluorescent green – it makes her eyes hurt. There seem to be some words on it, but Lena can’t make out what they say. “What is this monstrosity?”

Kara laughs. “Hey! That’s my favorite blanket!”

Lena cocks an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”

“Yes, really! Winn made that for us as a wedding present. He went through a knitting phase. Obviously, he wasn’t very good, but he spent months on it.”

Lena lets out a chuckle. “This Winn guy sounds like a real character.”

“He is,” says Kara. “After he made this one, which he names ‘Kara + Lena 4ever,’ coincidentally what he tried to make it say, he tried buying blankets from stores and undoing them part way so when we came over it would look like he was knitting them. He was really awful at knitting, Lena, you wouldn’t believe it.”

“Oh, I believe it.”

They laugh, and for the first time in three days, Kara remembers what home feels like.


	5. Chapter 5

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay here?” asks Kara.

“Yes, Kara, I’ll be fine. I can’t exactly go to work myself or tag along on your reporting duties. I can manage fine here.”

“I can stay home if you want me to, you know,” says Kara. “I’ll tell Snapper that I have a family emergency or something. One more day off isn’t going to kill me.”

“No, but if you stay today then you’re going to want to stay tomorrow, and then that’ll turn into forever. You can go to work. I’ll be fine.”

“Okay.” Kara stands up from her seat at the kitchen table and gestures to the iPhone on the table. “If you need anything you can call me. Your phone already has me in the contacts and everything. If you get hungry, there’s pizza in the fridge or you can make something. Oh, there’s also a bakery about a block away from us, so if you want you can go there, too. I’ll leave you some money in case you want to go out.” Kara pulls out a twenty from her wallet and places it on the table. “You sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine! Go, or you’ll be late.”

Kara smiles and opens her mouth to say something but decides not to. “I’ll see you at five,” she says, eventually.

“Goodbye, Kara.”

~

It’s barely been an hour when Lena decides that not working is boring her to death. She knows she can’t go to work at L Corp, even though she does own it, because of this pesky thing called amnesia, and she can’t call Kara because she’s probably doing something important. Instead, she decides to take the twenty on the table and go out exploring.

It isn’t long before she’s horribly and terribly lost. It’s not her fault, not really. She doesn’t remember living anywhere but Metropolis, so how could she know her way around National City? The worst part about being lost, and also the very definition of it, is that she doesn’t know how to get home. She turns on her phone and goes into her contacts. There’s a lot of people she doesn’t know, so she goes into the favorites tab to see if that will bring her closer to people she has at least heard of. It consists of six people, all with nicknames she’s probably never going to understand. First on the list is _Al_ , with a knife emoji next to the name. _Best Friend_ follows _Al_ with a pink heart, followed by _Jimmy_ with a camera, _JJ_ with an alien, _Mags_ with a green water gun, and _Wifey_ with not one, but three pink hearts and a ring. Lena figures that Kara is probably Wifey, but she can’t call her without worrying her. Eventually, she settles on calling Best Friend because whoever that is would probably help her.

“Hello?” says a male voice on the other side of the phone.

“Hi, it’s Lena.”

The voice laughs. “I know, I have you in my contacts. Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” she says. “I’m just a little lost.”

“Is Kara confusing you with stories or something?”

“No, I mean I’m literally lost somewhere in National City.”

“Oh.” There’s a pause. “But you know National City like the back of your hand!”

“I must’ve moved here sometime after 2015, though, because I have no idea where I am.”

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.”

“So did I.”

The male voice doesn’t laugh for a moment until he realizes it’s probably okay to and stifles a chuckle. “Okay, so let me just track your phone and I’ll be there in a little while. Don’t go anywhere.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.”

“See you soon, Lena.”

“See you soon, stranger.”

“Winn,” the voice says. “My name’s Winn.”

“See you soon, Winn. Thank you.”

He hangs up.

~

It’s twenty-four minutes later when the guy with the bad haircut from the photos in Lena’s apartment shows up. Lena notices that his haircut is significantly better, now, which is nice for him.

Winn smiles this big, dorky grin when he sees Lena. He looks like he’s going to try to hug her, but when he sees how hesitant Lena looks, he decides not to.

“Lena!” he says. “How are you? It’s been forever!”

“Hasn’t it only been a couple days?”

“Well, yeah, but we hang out all the time, so it feels like years.” He gestures to the sidewalk in front of them and they start to walk. “Anyway, how are you feeling?”

“I’m okay,” says Lena. “My head still kind of hurts.”

“Damn. Everything else feels okay, though, right?”

“I mean, my heart hurts.” She laughs like it’s a joke, but Winn can tell it’s not.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Nah,” says Lena. “I’m fine.”

Winn shakes his head. “You’re not fine. We’re going to go to our favorite bakery and I’m going to talk to you about my problems and you’re going to talk to me about yours. Deal?”

“Winn –”

“Deal! I’m so glad you agree.”

They walk in silence for a few minutes until they get to a run down store with a tall guy behind the counter. “Winn! Lena!” he says. “The usual?”

Lena looks over at Winn. “I have a usual?”

“Of course you do,” he says. “We come here every Friday.”

“So, we really are best friends.”

“You know it! You’re the only one who stood by me through the tough stuff. Breaking up with Lyra, getting back together with Lyra, breaking up with her again, my knitting phase.”

Lena laughs. “Kara showed me your knitting. I’m surprised I stood by you, because that was really awful.”

“Well, you did tell me that I was damaging the reputation of fine knitters everywhere, but that’s better than what everyone else did.”

The tall baker places two pastries – one cinnamon bun and one tart – on the counter. Winn grabs them both and sits down at a table, taking the cinnamon bun for himself and leaving the tart for Lena.

Winn takes a bite of his pastry. “I’d do anything for you, Lena. Seriously. So, please, tell me. What’s wrong?”

Lena sighs. “I think I’m hurting Kara.”

“What do you mean?”

“She’s so sad. I know we were in love, but I don’t remember it. She’s so great, and I can see myself maybe falling in love with her, one day, but I’m making her unhappy.”

“No,” says Winn. “You’re not making her unhappy. What’s making her unhappy is the fact that this must be causing you so much pain. I can’t imagine what you’re going through, Lena. No one can. We just want you to be okay.”

“Well, I’m not. The only family I’ve ever known is in prison and apparently he tried to kill me, so it’s not like I can visit him or anything. I find out I’m married to someone who’s kind and gorgeous and smart but I don’t remember any of our life together. My mom is evil and dead, as it would turn out, and I just want my life to go back to what I remember it as.”

“I’m sorry, Lena.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“You’re not.”

“You’re right, I’m not, but what can I do about it?”

“I don’t know.”

Lena sighs. “I just want to remember. Is that so much to ask?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so i think there are only a couple of chapters left at this point. thanks for sticking with me!

As the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, Lena figures that there’s going to be a lot of information on her when she looks herself up, but, surprisingly, it’s mostly about her friendship with Supergirl. She remembers when Supergirl revealed herself to the world. She’d thought, “that’s great of her,” and “how nice it is to have a female hero.” Never did she think she’d be friends with her, or, by the looks of these articles, very good friends. It seems not a week goes by without an article about Supergirl and Lena Luthor defying expectations by working together.

It isn’t long until she’s researching Supergirl, instead. She’s amazing, strong, smart, and capable, except not so much recently. There are at least twenty articles on how something must be up with Supergirl because she’s falling down on the job. There are speculations – a new super villain, someone finding out her secret identity, fights with Superman – all wildly speculated with no real basis. Lena figures the next time she sees Supergirl, or, the first time, for her, she’ll ask what’s going on. They’re friends, right? That’s a friendly thing to do.

Before she has a chance to think about how she would bring it up with Supergirl, Kara walks through the door holding a paper bag and two drinks from Noonan’s.

“I brought your favorite,” Kara says. “It’s a bacon cheeseburger. You usually only like them when you’re stressed, but I feel like now would be a good time for one.”

Lena looks down at the ground and smiles. It’s easy to forget that Kara knows everything about her just because she knows nothing about Kara.

Kara sits down next to Lena and takes out the burgers from the bag, spilling French fries on to the table and handing Lena a strawberry milkshake.

“Oh, Kara, I don’t like –”

Kara holds up her hand. “I know you don’t usually like strawberry milkshakes, but on our first date you had a sip of mine and you decided that you love Noonan’s shakes, no matter the flavor.” She pushes the shake closer to her wife. “Here, try.”

Lena takes a sip and closes her eyes. “God, you’re right! Okay, I’ll listen to you about my food choices from now on.”

Kara laughs and Lena thinks it sounds like sunshine would. She takes a huge bite of her burger and says, “After this, we’re going to the DEO to meet everyone.” She stops. “Does that sound okay? Winn told me you guys had already met, and everyone else is super nice, I swear, I’m sure you’ll love them. Is that alright?”

“Yes, Kara, that’s alright.”

Kara sighs. “Good. I got worried.” She takes a sip of her chocolate milk shake and bites into her burger again. “You know,” she says, covering her mouth, “I’m excited. Everyone is, really. They miss you. A lot.”

Lena tries not to feel guilty. “I know.” There’s a moment of silence before Lena says, “Do you think they’ll like me?”

Kara stops eating, which Lena knows is out of character for her, even in the few days she’s known her. “Lena,” she says, “of course they’ll like you. They love you. I know you can’t remember them, but they remember you, and they love you so much.” She puts her hand over Lena’s and smiles. “It’ll be okay.”

Lena nods. “Yeah,” she says. “It’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.”

~

The DEO is not what Lena thought it would look like. It’s open and bright with agents in black running around. She sees Winn, first, and he smiles like it’s Christmas when they make eye contact.

“Lena!” he calls. “Guys, look! Lena is here!”

A black man in his forties smiles and says jokingly, “Inside voice, Agent Schott.”

Winn runs over to Lena to give her a hug before saying, “J’onn, don’t pretend you didn’t miss Lena, too.”

J’onn puts his head down and smiles. “You’re right. Ms. Luthor, it’s good to have you back.”

Kara smiles over at Lena and Winn. J’onn talks into his earpiece saying, “Agent Danvers, you might want to come up. Your sister-in-law is here.”

Not a minute later, a woman with short hair is running towards Lena and hugging her. By the looks of her, Lena would not have pegged her as a hugger, but here she is, wrapping Lena in her arms, anyway.

“Lena!” says the woman. “I’m Alex. I’m Kara’s sister.”

“Hi, Alex,” says Lena. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Alex gives a sad smile to Kara and then to Lena. “We’ve missed you. My girlfriend, Maggie, should be here any minute. She’s going to want to see you.”

“Oh,” says Lena, looking to Kara for help. “Are Maggie and I close?”

Kara nods. “Maggie loves you, Lee. It’s mutual.” She looks around for a second before saying, “Where’s James?”

“He’s on his way,” says Alex. “He’ll be so excited to see you, Lena.”

Kara grabs Lena’s hand and walks her towards the back of the DEO. “J’onn,” she says, “you haven’t said a proper hello to Lena.”

J’onn smiles. “Hello, Lena. It’s great to see you again.” He says the words that Lena would imagine someone would say when they don’t actually want to see the person they’re speaking to, but she can tell that he means what he’s saying.

“It’s great to see you, too,” she says.

“Come on,” says Kara. “Let’s go to the break room. Do you guys have any extra food? I’m starving.”

“Kara, you just ate!”

“Not enough! I need sustenance!”

~

Lena doesn’t think there’s a better feeling than Kara’s hand wrapped around hers. They’ve been holding hands since Kara grabbed hers back when they were upstairs and now, at least half an hour later, they still are. James and Maggie got there late and both gave Lena firm hugs when they arrived. Maggie pecked Alex on the lips and made a joke about how, “I finally beat Luthor at chess and she loses her memory the very next day. Coincidence?” Made by anyone else, it probably would have made Lena feel guilty, but made by Maggie, it made her feel loved.

(“Kara, did she actually beat me at chess?” asks Lena, later, when Maggie is in the bathroom.

“Who knows? I don’t know how to play chess, Lena!”)

They sit there and tell jokes for hours until J’onn calls Kara out with some ‘business’ and Kara doesn’t come back.

“Alex,” asks Lena. “Where did Kara go?”

“Probably just some Supergirl stuff.”

“Supergirl business? Is she doing a story on her?”

Alex looks at Maggie for a second before saying, “No? Didn’t Kara tell you that she’s Supergirl?”

Lena just blinks. “I’m married to Supergirl?”

~

They’ve been home for about a minute when Lena says, “You’re Supergirl, then?”

Kara stammers. “Oh, yeah. I forgot you didn’t know.” She sighs. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but yeah. I’m Supergirl.”

Lena sits down. This explains why Supergirl hasn’t been focused lately. It’s her. It’s her fault. She’s putting the city in danger.

“Oh,” is all Lena says.

“Lee,” says Kara, “I’m sorry.” She gives Lena those big blue eyes that Lena knows she once got lost in, and she finds herself losing her way, now, too.

“It’s okay,” she says. “I think I’m going to go take a shower.”

“Okay,” says Kara. Lena knows she’s frowning, maybe even on the verge of tears, but she can’t bring herself to do anything.

“I’ll see you soon,” she says, instead.

“Okay.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey! sorry for not updating for a little while. i'm not really sure if i like this chapter??? but here it is anyway

Lena wakes up to the smell of bacon and waffles, or maybe pancakes. From what she can remember, she’s never had anyone cook for her, but she knows Kara must have cooked for her many times before. She smiles and slips on her robe, exiting to the kitchen.

“Hey!” says Kara, holding a spatula in one hand and the pan with the pancake in the other. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine,” says Lena. “You?”

Kara just smiles. “I slept fine. I thought, since it’s Saturday, that I should make some breakfast. I made you your green juice smoothie. It’s on the counter.”

Lena looks over to the counter where a glass with some green sludge rests. “I like green juice smoothies?”

Kara laughs. “Much to my surprise, yes. You drink one every morning.”

“Well, then,” says Lena, “I guess I better drink up.” She lifts the glass up to her lips and nearly chokes at the taste in her mouth. “Oh my God!”

“What?” says Kara, sounding panicked.

“This is disgusting!”

Kara just laughs. “You don’t have to drink it, you know. We can get you some orange juice, instead.”

“Yes, please,” says Lena, smiling. “God, what is future me thinking, drinking that?”

Kara smirks. “Future you?” She turns the burner off with a click and flips pancakes onto a plate next to Lena.

“Well, it is kind of like being in the future, you know. I remember the iPhone 6 coming out, and now the iPhone 9 has been out for ages. Trump was just a celebrity with a Twitter following and now he’s our president. You’ve got to admit, getting amnesia is a little like time traveling.”

Kara laughs again, taking a bite of a syrup-covered pancake. “If you say so.”

“Well, I do.”

~

Lena tries not to think about the implications of being married to Supergirl for a little bit. They watch Lord of the Rings on cable and Kara absentmindedly rubs Lena’s hand with her thumb, and it’s kind of perfect. Lena can feel butterflies in her stomach when Kara reaches for her hand, and she knows she shouldn’t because, God, she married this woman, right? But the Lena who married Kara is not the Lena who remembers nothing of the past five years, which means she’s allowed to feel nervous and giggly around her wife.

When the movie ends, Kara gets up to make more food.

(“Kara, it’s not even noon, yet!”

“It’s been three hours since I’ve last eaten. I’m going to starve.”)

They eat strawberries with whipped cream while they wait for the pizza to cook in the oven, and Lena doesn’t think she’s been this happy, ever.

Well, not ever. She knows, rationally, that she’s been this happy. She knows that she’s been happy with Kara, but she can’t remember any of it. She’s happy and carefree and when Kara tells her she has something on her lip, she doesn’t recognize that it’s something out of a bad rom-com.

“You have whipped cream on your lip, Lena,” says Kara, smiling.

“Oh?” She wipes at her face. “Did I get it?”

Kara just shakes her head. “Let me,” she says. She reaches out to wipe cream off of Lena’s lip with her thumb, brushing against her skin ever so lightly. It’s so gentle that Lena can barely tell she’s done it, if not for the fire she leaves in her wake.

“Thanks,” she says, quietly, as if she doesn’t want Kara to hear.

Kara swallows. “It’s no problem.”

Lena tries not to notice when she sees Kara glance at her lips. It’s quick, like she’s not trying to, but it’s there. It’s quick when Kara looks down at her shoes and smiles before looking back up into Lena’s endless green eyes. It’s quick when her tongue darts out to wet her lips. It’s not quick, however, when Lena feels herself inching towards Kara. It’s not quick when Kara’s breath hitches and she leans in, too. It’s not quick when Lena finds herself centimeters away from Kara’s perfect pink lips, wondering if they’d taste like strawberries. It’s not quick when Lena presses her lips onto Kara’s mouth, and it feels like everything before this moment hasn’t mattered.

Their lips connect, and Lena wonders why she’s kissed ever kissed anyone who is not Kara.

They part, after a moment, and Kara laughs.

“What?” asks Lena.

“Nothing,” says Kara, “it’s just that, well, I once described flying as that feeling before you kiss someone for the first time, and I’ve realized that, God, flying has nothing on kissing you, Lena.”

The oven dings to let them know the pizza is done, but Kara doesn’t move.

“Kara,” says Lena.

“Hm?” Kara hums.

“The pizza.”

“Oh!” she says, jumping up to open the oven. Lena hears Kara’s stomach growl as she pulls the pizza out of the oven with her bare hands.

“It’s a good thing you’re an alien, or you’d have some awful burns.”

Kara looks down at the pizza she’s carrying. “Oh,” she says. “Right.” She sets the pizza down on the counter and looks at Lena. “Are you hungry?”

“Not as hungry as you must be,” she says, laughing.

“I burn a lot of calories!”

Lena just nods. “Just eat your pizza, dork.”

Kara smiles and pulls a slice off onto a plate before sticking it in her mouth. “Good pizza,” she says in between bites.

Lena smiles. It’s easy to forget who she is, or rather, who she can’t remember being, with Kara munching happily away next to her. It’s easy to forget what she can’t give Kara after just having the best kiss of her life. It’s easy to forget how she’s putting the city in danger when she’s in the presence of someone she likes – someone she knows she once loved.

She sits in silence with a slice of pizza in front of her while Kara devours all but one other piece. She sits like that until Kara is done and putting her dish in the sink, at which point she says, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” asks Kara. “Sorry for what?”

“For kissing you,” she says.

Kara smiles and looks down at her shoes. “Believe me, you don’t have to apologize for that.”

“No, but I do. I do, because I don’t think this is going to work.”

Kara pauses. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think I’m going to remember.”

Kara shakes her head. “You will. I know you will.”

“What if I don’t?”

“Lena, don’t think like that. You will.”

“But if I don’t, Kara. It’s a possibility.”

“Then, you don’t. That doesn’t mean we can’t be happy! You can start a new life, get to know me again. It doesn’t matter, as long as we’re together.” Kara sits next to Lena and pulls her hands close.

Lena sighs and closes her eyes. She knew this was going to be hard. She knew that Kara would hold onto the life they had together, the life that Lena can’t remember. She knows that this is what’s right for the city. This way, with Lena out of the way, she’s not distracting Kara. She’s keeping National City safe, by doing this. Really.

“I don’t want to be stuck in a life I can’t remember.”

Kara releases Lena’s hands. “Oh,” she says.

“I’m sorry, Kara, but I think it would be best if I moved out.”

“Oh.”

“I can book a hotel room for a little while, before I can actually get an apartment.”

“You don’t want to stay here until you can find one?”

“I think it will be easier, this way.”

“Oh,” says Kara, again. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry, Kara.”

“It’s fine. I’m fine.” She stands up and walks over to the sink, staring blankly at the dirty dishes in it. “I’m fine,” she says, like she’s trying to convince herself.

“I’m sorry,” says Lena again.

“It’s fine,” repeats Kara, only, this time, Lena can hear her voice break.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally finished!!! i hope you guys enjoy the end of this fic

A week passes before they talk again.

[11:22 am] Kara: hey, i have some of your clothes here at the apartment. do you want me to bring them to the hotel?

[11:24 am] Lena: Yes, please. That would be good.

[11:24 am] Kara: cool. i’ll be there at noon.

Lena sets her phone down, then. She’s wearing pajamas, and even though she knows Kara has seen her countless times in them, she scrambles to the bedroom and flicks through her clothes. There aren’t many options, considering she only took the bare minimum when she left.

At the bottom of the pile of clothes, she sees a pastel yellow cardigan that she _knows_ has to be Kara’s. She wonders briefly if Kara knew that it was hers when she gave it to Lena – if she knew that this would get them together again. Lena shakes her head. It doesn’t matter. She can’t get attached to Kara.

She sets the cardigan aside and changes into some black pants and a red blouse.

Lena figures she’ll watch TV until Kara arrives, but she finds herself more focused on the sounds in the hallways – footsteps, maid carts rolling, ice clanging into ice buckets – than she is in whatever is on channel 9.

Kara arrives at 11:56 with a bag of clothes at her side and a sad smile on her face.

“Hey,” she says.

Lena gives a polite smile. “Hey.” There’s a pause before she says, “Come in, please,” and Kara obliges.

“Nice place,” says Kara, setting the bag down on the counter.

“Well, you know. It’s just a hotel.”

“You know, this is where we stayed when our apartment was being fumigated a year ago.”

“Really?” asks Lena. “They got everything out though, right?”

Kara laughs. “Yes, no more bugs. You made sure of that.”

“You know I don’t like insects!”

“I know,” Kara says, smiling. “I think we stayed on this very floor, actually.”

“Oh? Did you like it?”

“Well, I didn’t spend much time looking around.”

Lena furrows her eyebrows. “Why not?”

“We spent most of the weekend in bed, Lena…”

Lena flushes bright red. Of course. They were married, so of course they slept together. She wonders how it would have felt. What Kara’s skin on hers would’ve made her feel, what Kara sounded like in bed.

She shakes her head. This was not an appropriate thought process.

“Thank you for bringing my clothes, Kara,” Lena says, looking up into endless blue eyes.

Kara licks her lips and tries not to think of the last time they were in a hotel together.

They stand there, in silence, until Lena’s voice breaks when she says, softly, “Kara, I’m sorry.”

Kara shakes her head. “I don’t understand.”

“Kara…”

“No, I don’t understand. Everything was going well.” Kara closes her eyes and looks up at the ceiling, like she’s trying not to cry. “We were doing so well.”

“I can’t, Kara.”

“Why not?” She steps closer to Lena, putting a hand on her cheek and wiping away a tear that Lena didn’t notice had escaped.

“I’m not who you fell in love with,” Lena breathes.

“You are, though. You’re just as perfect as the Lena I knew.”

“I can’t, Kara.”

Kara put her other hand on Lena’s other cheek, so she was cupping her face. “Please,” she says. “Try.”

Lena just nods.

It takes a second, but then Kara’s lips are on Lena’s and the whole world feels right again. Lena steps back so they’re pushed against the island in the kitchen, Kara’s hands tangled in Lena’s hair. She moans against Kara’s mouth, and Kara can feel the vibrations along with a quickened heartbeat against her chest.

It isn’t long before Lena is pushing Kara’s cardigan off her shoulders because, God, was she always this muscular? Lena’s hands run along Kara’s arms she can feel Kara smile against her lips. With the smile, Kara lifts Lena onto the kitchen counter, leaving her lips to press hot kisses onto her neck. Lena feels weightless. Her legs tighten around Kara’s waist until Kara is carrying her to the bedroom, lips reconnecting with lips.

“Kara,” says Lena.

“Yes?” Kara replies, kissing Lena’s neck in a way that Lena feels is probably illegal.

“We should stop.”

Kara pauses. “Do you want to stop?”

“No,” says Lena, breathless.

“Me neither,” says Kara, hands roaming downwards. “God, I love you.”

Lena freezes and clears her throat.

“Shit, Lena –”

Lena clears her throat. “I think you should leave.”

“No, Lena, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to say that –”

“No, it’s fine,” she says in a way that represents perfectly how not fine it is. “I’m just really tired.”

“Lena,” says Kara, voice breaking.

“It’s fine.” Lena sits up and fixes her hair, voice cold and distant. “Thank you for bringing me my clothes.”

Kara looks down and bites her lip. “No problem.”

“I trust you can see yourself out?”

Kara just nods and stands up, the mattress shifting back up now that her weight isn’t on it.

Lena hears the door shut seconds before she feels tears falling, staining her blouse.

~

It takes hours for her to get off of the bed and back into the living area of the hotel. She doesn’t want to imagine what Kara is going through – Kara, who remembers all of the last five years with her. Kara, who loves her, however hard to believe it is. When she finally reenters the rest of the hotel, she finds the TV still on some cooking show and Kara’s cardigan on the floor. _Great_ , she thinks. _Now I have two of her sweaters._

She goes over to pick up the cardigan, soft fabric on her fingers, and she doesn’t realize for a second that everything has changed. She doesn’t realize for a second that she knows this is the same one Kara wore on their second date. She doesn’t realize for a second that she’s grabbing at the same fabric that Kara wore the first time they slept together. She doesn’t realize for a second, until she does.

She drops the cardigan in shock, at first. Years of memories come flooding through her mind, the first movie they saw, the day she met her sister, the last dinner they ate together. She inhales, and, suddenly, everything that has been missing has returned.

She pulls out her phone and dials pushes Kara’s number in her contacts, only to be greeted by a voicemail.

“Fuck, Kara! Answer your phone!”

She doesn’t call back. Instead, she grabs the cardigan from the floor and runs out the door. She runs out of the hotel and she runs past the corner store they get donuts from and she runs past the hole in the sidewalk that Lena always trips on when they take walks. She runs because that is what she needs to do, and she doesn’t stop until she reaches their apartment.

“Kara, open up!” she yells, knocking.

It takes a few seconds, but then Kara is there at the door, looking apologetic. “Lena, I’m sorry I said that I loved you, I won’t say it again –”

“Kara, Kara, stop!”

Kara furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

Lena laughs, breathless. “Kara, I remember.”

Kara doesn’t say anything for a second. “You remember?”

“I remember.”

“Oh, thank God.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't forget to follow me at hollencey.tumblr.com so we can scream about how in love supercorp is


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